


The un-Authorized Booklet of Hilarious Word-Fill-In Parlor Games about The Scarlet Pimpernel

by handschuhmaus



Category: The Scarlet Pimpernel - Baroness Orczy
Genre: In-Universe RPF, Mad Libs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-17
Updated: 2019-10-23
Packaged: 2020-12-13 16:53:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,115
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21001007
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/handschuhmaus/pseuds/handschuhmaus
Summary: being a sort of amusing word game like some parlor games we have all played.Simply fill in the blanks with the specified type of word and watch a fascinating if completely absurd story emerge!





	1. A Few Thoughts On Our Hero

**Author's Note:**

  * For [lirin](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lirin/gifts).

> All the work skin does is select a type of serif font vaguely more appropriate to period printed matter than the normal AO3 font, and doing without it for ease of reading should not disturb the reading experience. Unfortunately this may not be the ideal Mad Lib format, as far as ease in transferring the words into the story.

_Simply fill in the blanks with the suggested part of speech or other appropriate word!_

Plural Noun: _____  
Place: _____  
Place: _____  
Adjective: _____  
Noun: ____  
Inhabitant of Place, Possessive: _____  
Adjective: _____  
Occupation, Plural: _____  
Verb: ____  
Adjective: ____  
Adverb: _____  
Adjective: ____  
Living noun, Plural: ____  
Pattern, _as of Fabric_: _____  
Noun: ____  
Adjective: ____  
Noun: ____  
Noun: ____  
Noun: ____  
Country: ____  
Food: ____  
Adjective: ____  
Inhabitant of Place, Plural: ____  
Adjective: ____  
Flower: _____

* * *

_They seek him here, they seek him there!_  
_Those [plural noun] seek him everywhere_  
_Is he in [place]? Is he in [place]?_  
The [adjective] [noun] is every [inhabitant of place, possessive] hero. He is known for [adjective] disguises, by means of which he sneaks French [occupation, plural] past the regime which seeks to [verb] them to the guillotine. With [adjective] ingenuity, he [adverb] brings them back to our [adjective] shores. Or is he a “she”, or any number of [living noun], perhaps in an elegant [pattern] waistcoat? No one knows the [noun]’s identity, only that this brave [adjective] [noun] is a death-defying hero! What [noun] does he have to France? Does the [noun] eat honest English food or was he raised in [country], eating [food]? Could he be some [adjective] magician? Why does he do it? All we know for sure is the [inhabitant of place, plural] curse his name: 

That demned [adjective] [flower]!


	2. A Communique Directed at Marat, or his imitator

Name: _____  
Noun: ____  
Adjective: ____  
Noun, _beginning with P_: ____  
Rank, _e.g. Captain, Corporal_: ____  
Verb: ____  
Aristocratic Title, _such as Count_: ____  
Structure: ____  
City: ____  
Occupation, plural, _like "bankers"_: ____  
Name: ____  
Group: ____  
Verb: ____  
Item Made of Paper: ____  
Occupation:____  
Drink: ____  
Food: ____  
Food: ____  
Noun: ____  
Noun: ____  
Written Item: ____  
Occupation, plural: ____  
Rank: ____  
Noun: ____  
Animal: ____  
Pattern, _as of fabric_: ____  
Garment: ____  
Material, _e.g. metal_: ____  
Decorative Item: ____  
Occupation, plural: ____  
City: ____  
Sort of Person: ___  
Name, Possessive: ____  
Spice: ____  
Verb: ____  
Noun, plural: ____  
Adjective: ____  
"Your" Name: ____

* * *

My dear [name]

I am sure this [noun] finds you in the bath, as always. Be it known here that the [adjective][noun beginning with P] is a traitor. His crimes, enumerated:

Fooled [rank] into [verb] [aristocratic title] past the [structure] of [city], and all the Committee’s [occupation, plural].  
Impersonating Citoyen [name] and commanding [group] to [verb] themselves on the Committee’s official [item made of paper].  
Disguised as a/n [occupation], purchased [drink] and [food] and [food] and comfort, providing them (of course!) to the enemies of the [noun].  
On the day of the [noun], created a doggerel [written item] which was then passed around by all our [occupation, plural], who then insulted their [rank] and gave him [noun] with [animal] parts in it!  
Wore [pattern] [garment] with [material] [decorative item] and told all the [occupation, plural] in [city] they should too, if they wanted to be a truly excellent [sort of person].  
Filled Citoyen [name, possessive] [noun] box with [spice], causing him to [verb] violently, and lose track of his [nounPlural]  
Et cetera, ad infinitem

His sentence? To be sent to Madame Guillotine!  
Yours [adjective]  
[“Your” Name]


	3. A Personal Epistle From Our Hero, to His Beloved

Name of Beloved: ____  
Facial Feature: ____  
Noun: ____  
Facial Feature: ____  
Animal: ____  
Body Part: ____  
Onomatopoeia, _e.g. "bang!"_: ____  
Author: ____  
Season: ____  
City: ____  
Place: ____  
City: ___  
Precipitation: ____  
Beverage: ___  
Adjective: ___  
Adjective: ___  
French City: ___  
Aristocratic Title, _plural_: ___  
Adjective: ___  
Animal: ___  
Adverb: ___  
Adverb: ___

* * *

_From the Pimpernel to his admirer and beloved:_

My dearest [name of Beloved]:  
Your [facial feature] sparkles like the dew on the [noun]. Your [facial feature] reminds me of the comeliest [animal]. When I am away from you, I think of your [body Part] and my heart goes [onomatopoeia]. I will not be like [author] and compare you to a [season] day, for you transcend all seasons. 

In winter, when I go to [city] and rescue duchesses from [place], [city], and Nice, I think of you as [precipitation] falls and how your beauty outshines every cold wonder of the season. How there is no one but you who I want to wrap in blankets and take refuge from the chill with a cup of hot [beverage].

In summer, yes, you are more [adjective] than a summer’s day, and every glorious flower of the season pales before you [adjective] face! Thoughts of you make the heat of [French city] bearable as I rescue [aristocratic title, plural]!

But, above all, I admire your [adjective] intelligence, your quick wit, and your mind surpassing [animal] with its keenness. I hope that one day I may [adverb] disclose my identity and that you will continue your support and perhaps even assist me.

Yours [adverb],  
The Scarlet Pimpernel

* * *

_A note from the Editor:_  
When we consulted Sir Percy Blakeney for a later story, he insisted on the inclusion of the last paragraph, which some may consider uncharacteristic--perhaps because he is married to noted intellect Lady Marguerite nee St. Just.


	4. A Tale of Citoyen Chanvelin[sic] and his Machinations!

_This story is provided with a completed sample! (for the purpose of acquainting you with how these activities are to be approached. The sample follows the fill in text.)_

* * *

Social Event: ____  
Time of Day: ____  
Adjective: ___  
Negative Adjective: ___  
Feeling (noun): ___  
Family Member: ___  
Aristocratic Title: ___  
Social Event: ___  
Adjective: ___  
Verb: ___  
Family Member: ____  
Food: ___  
Beverage: ___  
Country, _possessive_: ____  
Type of Group, _e.g. "string quartet"_: ____  
Adjective: ___  
Noun: ___  
Noun: ___  
Adjective: ____  
Adjective: ____  
Verb: ___  
Heavenly Object or Being: ____  
Directional Preposition: ___  
Aristocratic Title: ___  
Adjective: ___  
Noun: ___  
Verb, _transitive_: ____  
Noun, _plural_: ____

* * *

A Tale of Citoyen Chanvelin and his machinations:

While at a [social event] one [time of day], a certain [adjective] Lady of our acquaintance was approached by the agent of the [negative adjective], terrible French Regime. He insisted that she assist him in tracking down the Scarlet Pimpernel; he appealed to her [feeling (noun)] of Democracy; he even threatened her [family member]! 

Despite his terrible manners, the [aristocratic title] could not stop him attending the [social event], and he was seen by many other excellent, [adjective] people, but none of them could [verb] him what he sought! And none of them had a [family member] in his clutches, either! He ate some of the [food] and drank [beverage] but of course he was not distracted from his singular purpose: to destroy [country, possessive] hero, the Pimpernel!

It so happened that the Lady passed by a member of the [type of Group] of the Scarlet Pimpernel, and cleverly (for she was a [adjective] Lady!) found in his possession a [noun] penned by the Pimpernel himself! With it, she was able to discover the meeting [noun] and place to contact the hero. And she had no choice; she had to tell the [adjective] Citoyen Chanvelin!

But did the Pimpernel discover the scheme somehow? Was he so [adjective] that it was obvious to him? We shall never know, but that the scheme was thwarted. When the Frenchman came to the meeting place to [verb] his trap, and the Lady did too, hoping to [heavenly object or being] that she could somehow find her way [directional preposition] this, they found only a snoozing [aristocratic title], known for his [adjective] [noun] and liking to [verb] [nouns]. He certainly could not be the Scarlet Pimpernel ...or could he?

* * *

__

## Sample:

__

Social Event: potluck  
Time of Day: bedtime  
Adjective: fuzzy  
Negative Adjective: grumpy  
Feeling (noun): ambivalence  
Family Member: sister-in-law  
Aristocratic Title: Dauphin  
Social Event: symphonic concert  
Adjective: dismaying  
Verb: laminate  
Family Member: great-grandmother  
Food: oatmeal  
Beverage: perry  
Country, _possessive_: Lithuania's  
Type of Group, _e.g. "string quartet"_: polka band  
Adjective: weary  
Noun: sheep  
Noun: bag  
Adjective: difficult  
Adjective: bizarre  
Verb: disentangle  
Heavenly Object or Being: Saturn  
Directional Preposition: above  
Aristocratic Title: comtessa  
Adjective: featherweight  
Noun: mouse  
Verb, _transitive_: braise  
Noun, _plural_: aeronauts

* * *

While at a _potluck_ one _bedtime_, a certain _fuzzy_ Lady of our acquaintance was approached by the agent of the _grumpy_, terrible French Regime. He insisted that she assist him in tracking down the Scarlet Pimpernel; he appealed to her _ambivalence_ of Democracy; he even threatened her _sister-in-law_! 

Despite his terrible manners, the _Dauphin_ could not stop him attending the _symphonic concert_, and he was seen by many other excellent, _dismaying_ people, but none of them could _laminate_ him what he sought! And none of them had a _great-grandmother_ in his clutches, either! He ate some of the _oatmeal_ and drank _perry_ but of course he was not distracted from his singular purpose: to destroy _Lithuania's_ hero, the Pimpernel!

It so happened that the Lady passed by a member of the _Polka Band_ of the Scarlet Pimpernel, and cleverly (for she was a _weary_ Lady!) found in his possession a _sheep_ penned by the Pimpernel himself! With it, she was able to discover the meeting _bag_ and place to contact the hero. And she had no choice; she had to tell the _difficult_ Citoyen Chanvelin!

But did the Pimpernel discover the scheme somehow? Was he so _bizarre_ that it was obvious to him? We shall never know, but that the scheme was thwarted. When the Frenchman came to the meeting place to _disentangle_ his trap, and the Lady did too, hoping to _Saturn_ that she could somehow find her way _above_ this, they found only a snoozing _Comtessa_, known for <strike>his</strike> her _featherweight mouse_ and liking to _braise aeronauts_. **Sh**e certainly could not be the Scarlet Pimpernel ...or could **s**he?


	5. An Adventure Of the Scarlet Pimpernel

_by_ Sir Percy Blakeney, known in the Prince's circles for his excellent doggerel rhymes, and Lady Marguerite Blakeney neé St. Just, the toast of social circles here and abroad, a light in every room...

* * *

_Tip: Remember in most cases to use adverbs which can describe verbs rather than adverbs which only intensify adjectives (e.g. "very")_

Month: ____  
Occupation: ___  
Emotion Adjective: ____  
Living Thing: ____  
Town: ____  
Occupation: ____  
Sentiment: ____  
Verb, _ending in -ing_: ____  
Noun: ___  
Adjective: ____  
Place outside of France: ____  
Nationality: ____  
Occupation, plural: ____  
Object: ____  
Name: ____  
Sort of Group: ____  
Color: ____  
Name beginning with C: ____  
Place: ____  
Term of Endearment: ____  
Adjective: ____  
Adverb: ____  
Place: ____  
Transitive verb, _ for following "has"_: ____  
Greeting for Departure: ____  
Adjective: ____  
Adjective: ____  
Body part: ____  
Meal: ____  
Food: ____  
Adjective: ____  
Possessive Noun: ____  
Noun: ____  
Adjective: ____  
Name beginning with C: ____  
Adjective: ____  
Adjective: ____  
Adjective: ____  
Place outside France: ____  
Activity: ____  
Adjective: ____  
Emotion: ____  
Adjective: ____  
Adjective: ____  
Beverage: ____  
Beverage: ____  
Adjective: ____  
Thing found on or near roads: ____  
Animal: ____  
Adjective: ____  
Name beginning with C: ____  
Article of Clothing: ____  
Saddle Part: ____  
Structure: ____  
Adjective: ____  
Adjective: ____  
Color: ____  
Name beginning with C: ____  
Adjective: ____  
Past tense, transitive verb: ____  
Adjective: ____  
Adjective: ____  
Type of Dog: ____  
Verb ending in -ing: ___  
Occupation: ____  
Type of Shop: ____  
Speech Verb: ____  
Name: ____  
Noun: ____  
Vegetable: ____  
Living thing: ____  
Adjective: ____  
Adjective: ____  
Aristocratic Title: ____  
Past tense, transitive verb: ____  
Name beginning with C: ____  
Body Part: ____

* * *

_As I was walking to St. Ives, I met a man with seven wives..._ (traditional rhyme)

One [month] day, the Scarlet Pimpernel was waiting to set sail and walking around waiting for the tide to come in, when his lady wife sent him a note, in the hands of a/n [occupation]. He was [emotion adjective] to read that [living thing] was in danger, but he knew he must act.

And so he headed urgently for [town], driving his carriage hard. Unfortunately, his way was obstructed by an [occupation] whose cart had a broken wheel, and was blocking half the road. "Can I tell you, sir," said the driver of the cart, "I'm not sure at all that we little people should be giving our [sentiment] to the ones they're [verb ending in -ing] to the guillotine. Didn't they stop our kind over the channel from getting [noun]?"

The Scarlet Pimpernel frowned slightly, in thought. "Does that, in sooth, mean they deserve to _die_, deserve bleak, [adjective] death? I can understand exile to [place outside of France], impoverishment, wishing on them a dose of hunger. But death?"

"Oh, alright. I can see you're a reasonable man. But I'd like to see us [nationality] [occupation, plural] see a little more freedom, too. Like the Americans."

"Perhaps. I must be on my way, I have an urgent appointment and no time to discuss political matters. Could I help you to move your [object] off the road?" 

The cart driver accepted the aid and the Pimpernel could be swiftly off again. 

Only an hour later he was hailed by a familiar face: it was his friend [name], a member of the [sort of group] of the [color] Pimpernel, holding another message. It said: "Your enemy Citoyen [Name beginning with C] has left for [place]."

"I will always be by your side, my [term of endearment], Pimpernel," said his friend. "Is the message [adjective] danger?" 

"You were not told?" 

"Only that it was for you and you alone." 

"I am not sure why that should be," said the Pimpernel [adverb]. "All it has to say is that our French _friend_ is going to [place]."

"Perhaps then...perhaps it is a trap. He has [transitive verb] us before." 

The Pimpernel agreed, but then was obliged to insist "I must be going. [Greeting for departure], my friend."

The [adjective] hero debated over whether to stop and see his [adjective] wife, and then he decided he must, for she was in the town where he arrived with spent horses, [body part] aching, past time for [meal].

He ordered [food] at The [adjective] [noun, possessive] [noun] tavern and a fresh horse and proceeded to the home of a friend where his wife was staying. But his knock at the door was answered with a firm shake of her host's head.

A [adjective] figure emerged from the shadows of the alley neighboring the house. It was Citoyen [name beginning with C]! If only he had not been stopped by the cart! He might have been early enough to beat the man.

"I have set a [adjective] trap for you, Pimpernel," said the adversary. 

"So you have," agreed the Scarlet Pimpernel. He would have to think up a [adjective] plan quickly. "Wait, what is the trap? I have seen none of your [adjective] men, and you can't hope to arrest me here, in [place outside of France]."

"I made sure your wife was on the way to the meeting place; sent her a message saying you were busy with [activity] and could not help. My [adjective] men are surrounding the hiding place right now!"

"I see," said the Pimpernel, feigning [emotion]. "I have food waiting for me at the inn, and then perhaps we can go to find her and the [adjective] aristos you are pursuing." 

So the [adjective] Frenchman attached himself to the Pimpernel, and proceeded to the inn, although he refused all the efforts of the innkeeper to get him to accept food or [beverage], even [beverage] not being to his liking. 

Some miles on found them on an [adjective] stretch of road, speckled with [thing found on or near roads] and running along a forest. Though he rarely had use for it, the Pimpernel was capable of throwing his voice, and now that he and his unwanted companion had fresh horses, he took his steed's reins well in hand and imitated the sound of [animal], in the darkening woods. It startled both the unsuspecting, [adjective] Frenchman, and the horses, but the Pimpernel was prepared, and directed his horse along the road rather than [name beginning with C]'s horse's headlong plunge into the woods, leaving the revolutionary askew in the saddle, his [article of clothing] caught on [saddle part]. The Citoyen was at least temporarily lost.

Not much further along, the Pimpernel crossed the border and found at the town (where someone awaited rescue) a large open ornamental gate, with areas for guards or others to stand at the top. He tied his horse to the [structure] a few yards away and stood by the gate in the [adjective] shadows, waiting for someone, who hopefully would not be Chauvelin. When he heard hoofbeats in the distance, he darted inside the gate and made out that he had been walking along the road headed outward, instead of lingering.

The horseman was one of the revolutionary guards, but he was not on the lookout for a lone man, and seemed to be a decent, [adjective] sort. He was also under dressed for the chill of the evening. 

"Say, would you like this hat? I've just realized my mother won't like it at all," he offered, showing the man the distinctive and bright [color] hat [name beginning with C] had seen him wearing.

He seemed confused, but could not see a trap, and the hat was welcome after all, no matter how [adjective]. 

Having got rid of the hat, the Pimpernel waited until the man had passed through the small town and set on to the most audacious phase of the plan he had [past tense verb]. He climbed the gate, crouching to keep hidden, and then disguised himself best he could as his adversary.

"The Pimpernel is leaving the other gate! Why didn't any of you fools pursue him?" he bellowed in his best imitation of the [adjective], [adjective] voice. He chased the men towards the opposite way, herding them like a [type of dog], but managed to remove himself from the chaos as the last few headed through. 

He ducked into the agreed upon meeting point. 

"Are you [verb ending in ing] the Scarlet Pumpernickel, then?" asked the [occupation] behind the [type of shop] counter.

"I am not," the Pimpernel [speech verb] quietly. "But I am here to help [name]." 

"See, we all thought you were, because the [noun] came through saying you were named for dense bread with red [vegetable] in."

"But where is the [living thing] I was sent here to help?" 

The [adjective] wife of the Pimpernel came down the [adjective] stair, ushering a lovely older [aristocratic Title] along in front of her. "They are here, my dearest." 

The Pimpernel took her hand and [past-tense, transitive verb] it. "We must away--[name beginning with C]'s men are near and might be dissuaded easily from the false chase I set them to." 

"Yes," said the one they were here to rescue, "but when one is in the [body part] of the Pimpernel, anything is possible!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Excerpt from critical review by Sir Andrew Ffoulkes (which the Publisher disputes): "...I am a friend of Percy's, and while the footnote about the love ...note is accurate enough, I'm not sure I believe the claim to authorship of that story. It just doesn't bear Percy's trademark humor. Maybe someone else contributed to the story without being credited? Or took down part of a story he was, excuse me, the Blakeneys were telling without catching everything or accurately quoting them?"

**Author's Note:**

> (note from the author to recipient, outside the publication conceit: I learned doing this that I find it relatively hard to write mad-libs. (Perhaps it is easier to do from pre-existing passages?) If annoying, perhaps any insipidity and errata lend themselves to authenticity of the conceit? <strike>which, true to a 1905 novel of the French revolution, might be a little anachronistic here and there...</strike>
> 
> I had originally hoped to do an embroidery pattern, and the prospect of nalbinding Scarlet Pimpernel items sounds terrifically neat, but appropriate inspiration defied me (plus I am mostly good at making flat vaguely circular things in nalbinding). )


End file.
